The Shift I Didn't Know I Needed
On Frequency, Identity, and the Power of Stepping Out of Role
A Break in the Pattern
This summer started with a heaviness I couldn’t name. I wrote about it in my last newsletter.
I reached for every tool in my alignment stack: sleep, food, meditation, inputs…and still felt off. Based on your replies, I wasn’t the only one.
What I’ve realized since is that I didn’t need another habit. I needed a break in the pattern.
Because sometimes what lifts the fog isn’t familiarity. It’s disruption.
Something unfamiliar enough to rewire the frequency you’re operating at.
Maybe even something that pulls you out of the roles you’re used to playing.
With one weekend left of summer, I’m sharing what turned around what I called the “summer blues”, and the unexpected revelation it brought around identity, outside of the titles we hold, in case it helps you too.
Stepping Outside the Familiar
The shift began with a complete departure from routine for a solo work trip.
It was unfamiliar, a little uncomfortable, and exactly what I didn’t know I needed.
It was my first time traveling for work since becoming a mother of two.
The discomfort and anxiety of leaving my family wasn’t convenient.
But it was clarifying.
We talk a lot about routine as grounding. Centering. And it is.
Until it becomes a container too tight to grow inside.
Until it begins to fuel stagnant energy instead of clarity.
Leaving my usual context - working from home, raising two toddlers, the same weekly rhythm, forced me to adapt, observe, and recalibrate.
And what I realized is this:
When your context shifts, your frequency does too.
And that shift has the ability to bring you back into alignment, if you let it.
Becoming Your Own North Star
My work took me to Paris to support my client and friend, Amina Muaddi, during a major moment for her brand.
I know, I know - Paris? Anxiety?
But this time, I wasn’t there on behalf of a firm, a company, or a title like I had been on past trips.
This time, I went as a business owner. An advisor. A founder. On my own terms.
And for the first time, I wasn’t editing myself to fit someone else’s brand or vision. I was showing up fully as my own.
And I’ll be honest:
When you become your own North Star, it can feel disorienting.
Unmooring, even.
Same Place, New Center
I’ve been to Paris many times - for work, for fashion, for clients.
Early in my career as an attorney, I built my fashion law practice there from the ground up.
I self-funded my first trips, convinced my firm there was business value in it, and built something I was proud of, with Amina’s support even then, and the early encouragement of mentors who believed in the vision before it fully existed.
Paris shaped that chapter. It was where I learned how to bet on myself.
But this time, I wasn’t “Jamie from [company name].” I wasn’t traveling under someone else’s banner.
No title was there to do doing the heavy lifting.
And once I moved past the discomfort, a quiet confidence rose it in it’s place.
Because I know who I am, even when no one else is naming it for me.
And so do you.
What Happens When the Title is Gone
Both times I left full-time roles - first as an attorney and partner, then as a managing director, I experienced a kind of identity whiplash I didn’t expect.
Not because I didn’t love what I was stepping into.
But because those jobs had become me.
They shaped how I introduced myself.
How I thought.
How I dressed.
How I justified my worth.
And when I left?
It felt like part of my identity dissolved with the exit paperwork.
Even now, working for myself, I still bump into that tension.
Who am I when I’m not wearing a name badge?
What do I say when there’s no title to lean on?
But this trip gave me the clearest answer I’ve felt all year:
You don’t lose your identity when you leave a job.
YOU get to decide which parts come with you.
One Thing I’ve Learned
You don’t always raise your frequency through discipline and daily habits.
Sometimes the shift happens by moving differently.
By stepping into the unfamiliar.
By doing something uncomfortable.
By making one choice, big or small, that’s completely, undeniably yours.
Your 963 Prompt
Take this long weekend and pick something, small or large, that disrupts the normal pattern of your day.
Take a solo day.
Change your scenery.
Say yes to something that doesn’t make sense on paper but does in your gut.
Then see who shows up.
Tools & Resources This Month
Book: The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker – A thoughtful reminder of how intention shapes identity, especially when we re-enter rooms as new versions of ourselves.
Podcast: The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish – Episode #112: Adam Grant, Rethinking Your Position – A deep dive into how identity isn’t rooted in titles or fixed beliefs, but in values. Grant explores how intellectual humility and the ability to rethink past roles allow us to grow into more authentic versions of ourselves—personally and professionally.
Practice: Choose one day this week to swap out your default setting. Work from a new location, block off a solo walk, or try something creatively uncomfortable. Let it feel strange. The goal isn’t productivity, it’s perspective.
Mindset Shift: You are not your roles. You are the one choosing them.
Your clarity doesn’t come from holding on tighter. It comes from releasing what no longer fits and trusting what emerges.
Looking Ahead
Next newsletter, I’ll share a more personal update: why I’m simplifying this space, what’s changing with the format, and how letting go of the paid tier is part of honoring alignment - not abandoning growth.
Until then, if you’ve been craving clarity:
Don’t try harder.
Move differently.
And let that movement bring you back to yourself.
More soon,
Jamie
the message that i needed! great newsletter, Jamie!
Great one Jamie - I’m gonna try those prompts - I need it