When Headlines Become Benchmarks
On the Work We Don’t See and How It Leads to Misalignment
The Work We Don’t Talk About
For some time, I’ve felt like I can’t open a social media app without being sold something. A product, a service, a framework, a lifestyle.
And to be clear, that’s part of what it’s designed to do.
But when it comes to career and business aspirations, what we’re being sold most often are signals of success.
Sometimes it’s outcomes. The moment something worked. Other times, it’s before the work has even begun. An announcement. A launch. The anticipation of what’s coming.
But rarely the work it takes to get there.
Over time, that imbalance starts to shape how we think.
We’re no longer just observing those signals. We’re using them as direction.
The headline.
The funding round.
The title.
The partnership.
The executive list.They’ve become proxies for what we “should” want.
We see what someone has built, but rarely what it required.
We see how much someone raised, but not the pressure or tradeoffs that come with it.
We see the word “founder,” but not what it actually means to build something over time.
We see the outcome.
Not the repetition.
Not the failures.
And eventually, those headlines don’t just inform us. They shape us.
Over time, becoming the benchmark.
Not the work itself.
Where Alignment Gets Lost
That’s where alignment starts to break.
Not all at once, but slowly, as we begin optimizing for recognition over the work itself.
Not because people lack ambition. If anything, it’s the opposite.
But because they’re making decisions with incomplete information, and treating what little they see as the full picture.
We treat certain careers, companies, and milestones as North Stars.
But we don’t interrogate them.
We don’t ask:
Do I actually want the day-to-day of this?
Am I aligned with the pressure that comes with it?
Would I still choose this path if no one ever saw it?
Because alignment isn’t just about what you build.
It’s about whether you’re willing to keep doing the work that building it requires, consistently, privately, and without recognition.
And that’s the part most people don’t stop to fully consider.
They move toward something that looks right, only to realize later that they’re not aligned with what it demands.
The Framework I Use With Clients
There’s a question I’ve come back to repeatedly in my own career, one I now use with clients at pivotal inflection points:
Would I still choose this path if no one ever saw it?
No recognition.
No external validation.
No headline at the end of it.
Just the work itself.
Because that’s where true alignment lies.
Not in whether something looks right, but in whether you’re willing to live inside of it, day to day, over time, without needing it to be seen.
And when you start looking at decisions through that lens, things get clearer quickly.
That’s ultimate alignment.
And it’s also what I hope to help people come to through 963.
963 Today
963 today reflects work that I’ve intentionally chosen not to position through headlines.
Work that happens in conversations, in decisions, in navigating moments that don’t always need to be documented or shared.
It has quietly evolved into something broader over the past year: 963 Projects.
Not as a launch or a pivot, but as a continuation.
A space centered around building in alignment, with the work itself, not just the outcome.
For now, that looks like:
Strategic advisory for founders and founder-led companies
Executive coaching (offered on a referral basis)
Curated workshops, which will become the primary way to engage more broadly, starting this fall
The 963 Newsletter, where I explore these ideas more deeply
This isn’t an argument against visibility, but a reminder that how and when we share things shapes how they’re understood.
One Thing I’ve Learned
Alignment isn’t about choosing what looks right.
It’s about choosing what you’re actually willing to live inside of, every day.
Your 963 Prompt
What are you using as a benchmark right now, and have you actually questioned it?
If you stripped away how it looks, would you still choose it?
Tools & Resources
Book: The Pathless Path by Paul Millerd - A perspective on choosing work outside conventional markers of success, and what becomes visible when those markers are no longer guiding your decisions.
Practice: Before committing to a path or decision, ask: Would I still choose this if no one ever saw it?
Podcast: The Knowledge Project - Conversations grounded in long-term thinking and decision-making, offering a more complete view than the compressed, headline-driven versions of success we typically see.
Mindset Shift: Pay attention to what gets celebrated publicly, then ask yourself what part of the story is missing.
Looking Ahead
I’ll share more soon on the first 963 Workshop this fall.
If it’s something you’re interested in being part of, I’d love to hear from you.
Jamie