The Quiet Mind F*ck of Building in Alignment

Empowering. Liberating. Completely Disorienting.

Mar 28, 2025

A Clearing Out

Before you can build something aligned, you have to make space for it.

In case you’re new here: I’m in a season of building in alignment—with my values, my gifts, and who I am today.

As a person. As an entrepreneur. As a mother.

And while I love this work—the tools, the reflection, the visioning, the conversations about values and fulfillment—I also want to be honest about something that doesn’t get said enough:

This is the hardest work I’ve ever done.

Why Is This So Hard?

There’s a narrative that this kind of clarity and alignment should feel easy. That if something is meant for you, it will fall into place. That if you just "get clear on what you want," the rest will follow.

But clarity doesn’t just arrive. And building in alignment? Not easy. Not linear. Not clean.

Because before you can get clear on what’s aligned, you have to get honest about what isn’t. And that requires an unlearning. A deprogramming. A shedding of everything that was never really yours—or maybe once was, but no longer is.

A lot of us weren’t raised to build from our own blueprint. We were handed one—from school, from parents, from institutions. Even with a nurturing upbringing, odds are, some part of your life was shaped by someone else’s definition of success, of right v. wrong.

And when you’ve followed that set programming for years—decades even—the idea of designing a career or life on your own terms sounds liberating in theory. A real luxury. But in practice? A bit destabilizing.

Deprogramming Before Clarity

Here’s the part no one prepares you for: the letting go. The peeling back of what you thought made you valuable or productive or successful.

Because to truly get clear, you have to first remove what’s getting in the way: the internal noise, the distractions, the stories you’ve been told (and told yourself) for years.

This part? It's really fucking hard.

According to Dr. Joe Dispenza, by age 35 (hi I’m 38), 95% of our thoughts, behaviors, and emotional patterns are subconscious—meaning they’re habits, not conscious choices. Our nervous system is running on a loop built by past experiences and old programming.

So when we talk about “getting clear,” we’re not just talking about making a list of goals. We’re talking about actively rewiring the way we think, feel, and respond—so we can create something new.

It means untangling your identity from your output. Releasing the ego and all the protective layers it built to keep you safe, approved, (and busy).

And that’s messy and uncomfortable work.

My Own Unlearning

In the last four years, I’ve pivoted twice—both inspired and pushed by motherhood.

The first time, I left a decade-long career as an entertainment attorney and partner at a prestigious law firm to join an investment and advisory platform, stepping into a new role as a managing director and strategic advisor to a formidable generation of brand owners.

It was a major shift—into a new industry, a new pace, and a different kind of value creation. One that, on paper, aligned seamlessly with my professional goals and aspirations.

Then, after the birth of my second child, I felt pulled to pivot again. This time, not just to align professionally—but to do so in a way that honored how I wanted to show up as a parent (now of two).
Is any of this relatable?

For me, that meant building something of my own. And there is truly nothing harder.
Because now, there’s no playbook. No curriculum. No manager holding me accountable. I’m the one setting the vision. Creating the structure. Defining the goal posts.

Learning to trust the process—without external validation to anchor me—has been an entirely new challenge.

And while that freedom is what I knew I needed, the discomfort that came with it still surprised me.

Unlearning, I’ve learned, can often look like losing structure before finding clarity. Can often feel like being lost, before a sense of belonging.

Each transition (and the people who invested in me along the way) brought growth I’m endlessly grateful for. Each one also brought discomfort I couldn’t bypass.

When Busy Equals Worth

Let me break it down with an example I think many of you will relate to.

After 15+ years in high-performance, client-facing environments, much of my worth had become tied to how busy I was. Being needed. Solving for others. Being "on" 24/7. These were badges of honor I didn’t realize I was clinging to.

Even now, when I’ve intentionally created more space in my day, I catch myself wondering:
Am I doing enough? Am I being enough?
And that’s the mind-f*ck.

I know that busy doesn’t equal value. I know that there are other ways to work, to create, to contribute. But it takes time to fully detach from those old ways of thinking. And so one of the biggest shifts I’ve been navigating lately, that I want to share with you, is this:

Busyness is not a marker of how valuable I am.
Saying it louder for the people in the back!

That belief—that worth is measured by output—runs deep. It takes real rewiring to shift. And in a sense, letting go of that belief system has felt like its own kind of grieving.

Doing Things My Own Way

A close friend and mentor recently put me onto the self-knowledge system of ‘Human Design’ (which I shared as a resource in last month’s newsletter). Learning about Human Design gave me language for something I’d already started sensing. I’m a Generator. Which means I thrive when I’m responding to aligned opportunities. Not forcing things. Not overly structured. And not grinding nonstop just for the sake of it.

Learning that has changed the way I approach work. It also affirmed what I already knew deep down:

Alignment doesn’t come from doing more.
It comes from doing what’s right—for you.
Sometimes that means doing less, but with far more intention.

This isn’t a new way of thinking. People like Tim Ferriss (author of The 4-Hour Workweek), Adam Grant, and others have been championing this outlook for years.

Even beyond the framework, this season of life has forced me to create from the inside out. To stop chasing external benchmarks and ask:

What do I want? What feels right for me? What kind of life am I building—not just for myself, but for my family as well?

Some days that feels empowering. Other days, like walking through fog with no flashlight.

One Thing I’ve Learned: Inventory Before You Rebuild

You can’t build a life or career in alignment if you don’t know what’s currently out of alignment.

That’s why the first step in all of this is taking inventory. In law school, we called this “issue spotting.”

How are you actually spending your time—your hours, your energy, your mental load? Really break it down. To the hour. To the minute, even.

Because we think we know. But so much of it is autopilot.

So this month, I want to challenge you to slow down and notice with the following 963 prompt.

Your 963 Prompt

For one day (or better yet, one week), log your time.

What do you spend your hours on?
What are you thinking about?
What are you saying yes to?
When do you feel most clear? Most drained?

Notice the patterns. Not to judge—but to observe. To get honest.

Remember, clarity isn’t something you find—it’s something you create.

And the first step in creating it is understanding where your energy is actually going.

Tools & Resources for Clarity & Alignment

Book: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay – A foundational read on how your thoughts and beliefs shape your life. Louise explores the connection between emotional patterns and the outcomes we create—offering both spiritual insight and practical tools to help shift the inner narrative. I come back to it constantly.
Practice: Daily Inventory – Each evening, take 5 minutes to review your day. Where was your time spent? What pulled you out of alignment? What would you have done differently? There’s science behind this: evening reflection helps reinforce awareness and supports habit change by training your brain to recognize patterns and course-correct over time.
Podcast: On Purpose with Jay Shetty: Dr. Joe Dispenza on Unlocking the Power of the Mind & Healing Yourself Through Thought – This episode dives into how our subconscious patterns shape our behavior and how to break free from old loops by rewiring our brain and emotions. A powerful listen if you’re in a season of personal transformation.
Mindset Shift: Busyness is not a measure of your worth. Stillness does not mean stagnation. Sometimes slowing down is the most powerful move you can make.

Looking Ahead

Next month, we’ll continue exploring what it means to (re)build from alignment—one layer at a time.

Until then, keep noticing. Keep listening. Keep making space.
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
You just have to be willing to look at what’s no longer working.

More soon,
Jamie